Thoughts of an Open mind.

I've been thinking, and im not trying to be sentimental or sappy because I really dont want to get my keyboard wet but...

soul searching...
I use to think it was a myth, something people made up just so that they could excuse my french but fu-...gosh I cant curse on here...let me partially start over..something people made up just so that they could have an excuse to mess up or fool aroud or experiment...so that the validation would be 'research.'

I'm 23 years of I haven't finished school, I just lost my job and things arent exactly amazing on the home front, so to speak.

I've been thinking about alot of things lately, questioning absolutely everything.
Then I feel guilty and I try to supress this...(what feels like) doubt that I have about certain things. Wondering whats truth and whats a lie. Wondering, no waiting, no hoping that judgment wont be passed upon me because I dare to question things.

I'm not going to get too deep right now but I'm tired of doing things out of obligation out of making people happy, pleasing people...then I walk around feeling hypocritical.

I do still believe in most things, I just wonder...
I would say I need prayer, but right now I truly dont know what I need.

- <3 Shae