Nervous

You know that feeling when you're super nervous about something and your stomach starts to knot up?

Experiencing that right now.

write right wright

write write write

right right right

wright wright wright

the write and right obviously makes sense, you know like 'hey you need to write right' but i just threw in that wright cause two rights didnt seem right...my soul felt slightly incomplete...tad bit unbalanced.

ANYWHO!

I've been writing and writing and writing...I just hope this all pays off.
Every idea I get I've been writing down...and I do mean EVERY idea.
Before this I would get an idea try to memorize it even though it never worked and try to write it down later. but as the thought fairies graced me w/their presence dousing me with magical thinking juice which enhanced my brainstorm.

think, think, think
write, write, write

- shae

Quick Brainstorm

This is a brainstorm for characters in my story (all of this is true btw)

There's a husky black woman w/short hair that lives across the street from me. She's in a relationship w/a husky white man. He looks like he's from down south so I thought this pairing to be exceptionally strange. There are two other women living in the house i'm guessing they are their children in some way or another. One is a wee bit on the hefty side as well, she has long thick curly hair (I take her to be mixed.) The other is really thin and dresses like a stud, hats, baggy jeans, moo-moo sized shirts. They have two dogs, a chihuahua and what looks like a pomeranian. Everytime the black woman exits her house to take them to 'go potty' she is ALWAYS in her night clothes. I understand people do this, I've done it. Granted, I dont usually sleep in clothes that look like pajamas. BUT! All the time, it never fails. I wonder what she does all day, from the outside looking in it looks like absolutely nothing. I dont know her so I cant and wont say but it doesnt hurt to wonder...uq

Thoughts of an Open mind.

I've been thinking, and im not trying to be sentimental or sappy because I really dont want to get my keyboard wet but...

soul searching...
I use to think it was a myth, something people made up just so that they could excuse my french but fu-...gosh I cant curse on here...let me partially start over..something people made up just so that they could have an excuse to mess up or fool aroud or experiment...so that the validation would be 'research.'

I'm 23 years of I haven't finished school, I just lost my job and things arent exactly amazing on the home front, so to speak.

I've been thinking about alot of things lately, questioning absolutely everything.
Then I feel guilty and I try to supress this...(what feels like) doubt that I have about certain things. Wondering whats truth and whats a lie. Wondering, no waiting, no hoping that judgment wont be passed upon me because I dare to question things.

I'm not going to get too deep right now but I'm tired of doing things out of obligation out of making people happy, pleasing people...then I walk around feeling hypocritical.

I do still believe in most things, I just wonder...
I would say I need prayer, but right now I truly dont know what I need.

- <3 Shae

Shae the Screenwriter

So some of you might know this already but I want to be a screenwriter/filmmaker/actress. I'm mostly interested in screenwriting and filmmaking. Love the stuff.

Well, I always write but I just play around. I've never actually written a piece of work aside from poetry. So I've decided that I need to start taking a step towards my dreams...I'm going to attempt to write my own screenplay!

I'm deathly afraid of attempting to try something I love and watch it all go up in smoke. So wish me luck!

- Love, Shae

Friends are amaaaaaazing!

I love friends. I have very few but the ones I have are amazing.
No matter how close we are, super close or slightly close.
I'm happy...i would like to say grateful (but I can be a very ungrateful) person.

I love my family too but thats for another day.

- <3 shae

Ok Ok Girl Complex numero uno

I'm a huge smart ass and i'm a highly sarcastic person.
This I know...
but what I realized is that I cant stand for my bf to be sarcastic with me.
I guess its a 'Girlfriend Complex'...because the insecure part of me comes out...
The 'stop making fun of me side', like i noticed that my favorite phrase towards him is..."You're so mean to me." It doesn't really have to be all that mean, it could be a light-weight joke but I have to get all butt hurt about it.

I can't help it, I see it as if I wasnt this way around him and I wasn't affected by anything he said to me then there would be a problem.

- <3 shae

HAH-VAD! / Boston Bay-bee!

So I went to boston 2-3 weeks ago...

entered in a salsa competition.

All in all, I had a jolly good time.






- <3 Shae

Redondo Beach

Me and Alan at Redondo beach.
My first time there, this was a few months back.

- <3 Shae

What part of recession dont you understand?!

So I just got laid off! oh i'm sorry that's not professional...
let me rephrase that...im 'in between jobs' =]
First, not a good feeling!
Second, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
Third, I got my eye on you Obama...im waiting on that 'change'

-sighs-

c'est la vie.

- Shae